Sunday, August 30, 2009

Thoughts on New York

Today, after way too many laughs at brunch
(and slightly too much sangria)
I adventured to walk home
from the Upper West to the Lower East Side.

78 streets
9 avenues
1 Central Park
(and 2 lattes) later,
I reached the East Village only to look left
and have one of those uniquely New York moments:

With just 1 avenue and 6 streets to go,
I bopped into the Sidewalk Cafe to rest my feets
and to jot down my thoughts from the 3 hour journey.

Within minutes,
the Albanian cab driver sitting to my right asked
if I'd like to share french fries with him,
to which I replied,
"Sure, why not?!"

We toasted our glasses of water and he said,
"To America!"

"To America! Cheers!"
I said back :)

The thing is,
my heart will always tick for home,
but there's something about NYC
that just makes it beat a bit faster.

I love living in New York
because it takes effort to do so
and I take nothing for granted in the process.

It's the place where people from all over the world
come to live out their dreams. And to many,
it is their vision of America.

I vividly remember when I told my Grandma Stella
that I was moving here. After which she replied,
"New York City?!"
(said in the voice of the cowboy from the Pace Pacante Salsa commercial)

I assured her that it was not a lifelong choice,
but that it's the right choice for me
for right now.

Like any city, it's an acquired taste.

New York is the only place I've ever encountered
where change is the only constant.

It's always one step ahead,
and believe me,
it will not wait for you :(

Yet I love this crazy place,
and the challenge to somehow try and make it love me back.

But with this love also comes it counterpart,
for it would be impossible not to hate this city at times too.

Daily, I am reminded by the mere presence of millions,
that I'm just one of many ... 8,327,149 to be exact ;)

With that, it's a fact that there will always be someone
and something better. It's the blessing and the curse of NYC.
But also a major reason we all choose to live here.

I'm fully aware that "Stacey 2.0" is just around the corner
... and I'm sure she even has a better blog ;)

It's incredibly humbling
(to say the least)

But I will say that my friends here feel like family.
Partially because we're all far from home, and partially
because it's the kinda city where you have to look out for one another. Ya just do.

Here in "the Zoo" I've learned to adjust to a lot
and have come to simply except the fact that:

* Life is insanely expensive ...
(it costs ~$10 to breathe and a min of $25 to eat)
* 2am is "early"
* Monday could just as well be Friday
* "Open 24 Hours" is slightly expected
* 450 sq ft is "a lot"
* Being 28 feels like 18
* Rooftops and fire escapes serve as porches and backyards
* Cabs are our cars
* The subway is your best friend and worst enemy ;)
* Going to a "house party" includes taking at least 2 train lines
and walking up 5-7 flights of stairs
(all while carrying an overpriced 6-pk)

I love that on any given evening,
I've enjoyed the company of an eclectic melting pot
of "aspiring somebodies" …
All under one roof, I've had the pleasure to meet:
The singer-song writer by day / bartender by night.
The Advertising Exec.
The Dow Jones editor.
The New York Times columnist.
The Nurse.
The Nanny. The New Mom.
The Hairdresser.
The Trial Lawyer.

The Public Defender.
The Public School Teacher.
The Grad Student.
The Socialite.
The Social Worker.
The Real Estate mogul.
The PR Director. The Event Planner.
The Campaign Manager.
The TV producer.
The Broadway lead.
The actress/model who is beautiful both inside and out
(and the actress/model who is not so much ;)
The Entrepreneur who took a gamble and won!
The Wall Street guy
The Hedge Fund guy (who's still in a suit from a 14 hr work day)
The Photographer who's enjoying a picture-free evening.
The Fashion folks who are already sporting the next season's look.
The Restaurant Owner. The Wine Director.
The Hipsters.
The Gays. The Straights. The Bi's.
Old money. New money. No money.
The tried-and-true New Yorkers.
The fellow newcomers and transplants.
The immigrant from (insert country here)
and of course, the Albanian cabbie
(with whom tonight I shared a plate of fries :)

It never gets old!
Because from what I've learned living here,
no one ever seems to want to get old.
Be it good or bad,
the "Peter Pan syndrome" is ever present in NYC.

And so I repeat:
It's most definitely an acquired taste.
But for now it's the right taste for me
to fill my every craving for life :)

No matter what city you may be reading this from,
I hope this verbiage vomit finds you doing GREAT
and enoying all the people,
taking in all the places,
and soaking up all the things
you have the pleasure to be surrounded by!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Thoughts on Bathroom Showers

Riddle me this ...

Why are all bathroom shower knobs different
and seemingly dysfunctional?

When you go to a friends house they always seem
to have to explain "the system" to you
(and vice-a-versa when at my apartment)

"For hot, turn a little to the left ...
but not too hard
you'll get scolded!

"For cold, turn it just a tad to the right,
but not to too far

or your nips will cut glass!


If anyone's looking for a get-rich-fast-plan,
please figure this shit out ASAP
and I'll be forever grateful ;)

Friday, August 28, 2009

Thoughts on Rubberbands

How can I possibly lose so many flippin hair bands?

(These are the enigmas that keep me up at night)

I mean it though

Like all women

(and hippie men)

I buy them in packs of like 50 and then,

like socks in the dryer, they are dust in the wind!

I know I'm not alone in this predicament,

which only leaves me more perplexed ...


Inquiring minds would love to know

Thanks in advance!

Me :)

Thoughts on "Getting Old"

I've recently noticed that every Evite I receive for parties at peeps apartments ends with the line, "Babies and Dogs Welcome!"

When did this happen?!

I fear the "Babes & Dog Memo"
was sent to my Chicago address ...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Happy Happy Birthday Adi :)

It goes without saying that everyone had a wonderful time
celebrating the birth of YOU last night!

What a super fun way to wrap up the Summer :)


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I Don't Mean to Play Favorties ...

But I voted for my friend's pup (Yoshi)

in the World's Cutest Dog Competition :)

Please Note:
Had I been asked to vote for the World's Cutest Child
I clearly would have refrained!

Buuut since I don't have too many besties-with-babes just yet,
I will admit that if I was asked to vote for the cutest 1 yr old boy
to ever grace this planet (and goes by the name of Griffin Bowman)
I would then positively cast my vote for
my lil friend Grif :)

Crazy how fast time flies!

Something I Wonder ...

How can there
not be a correlation here?!

I mean,
ya don't see many any other creatures
sportin' black-and-white and crazy-all-over ...

These 101 don't count ;)

Monday, August 24, 2009


Thank you for the laugh, Nicki!
Please keep the random funnies comin :)

My Many Quirks ...

I recently went out with a guy who casually asked,

"So, what are some of your personal quirks?"

I wanted to say,
"How much time do you have?!"

But I refrained and simply said,
"Hmmm, can't think of any off the top of my head"

(insert nose growing here)

The thing is, I didn't really foresee a future with the aforementioned male and to be totally frank, I was slightly concerned he wouldn't pay for dinner after falling victim
to my laundry list o' idiosyncrasies ;)

Had I answered the question honestly,
I would have confessed the following
right off the top of my head:

I sleep with 4 pillows
and own more gnomes than most ...

I set my alarm to a different odd number every single night.
For example, tomorrow I'm due to wakey-wakey at 7:13am.
Tuesday will likely be 7:15am ...
:17, :19 and :21 shall ensue

Yet, when reading a book, I only ever stop on evens.

I make every effort to provide exact change
(and have a serious soft-spot for pennies)

My personal and professional email accounts are linked to my Crackberry, both of which show a little red star when a message has been received. After 6pm PST/9pm EST, when I see that I've gotten a new messages, I silently guess which account it's been sent too, and visibly sneer when wrong. Admittedly, I get way more excited to see the little red star light up on my gmail account ...
just being honest.

I drink incredibly fast,
no matter what the liquid.

I'm quite possibly the least domestic female on the planet
but I absolutely adore the invention of the vacuum
and cannot help but to make the
"Vrooom Vrooom!" noise
when doing so.

The bottom of my feet are dirty at all times.
Like, always.

If I could live in a pool, lake or hottub I would.
I'm however, petrified of the ocean.

I've been known to take baths for multiple hours.
After which the bottom of my feet still remain dirty.
It's truly uncanny!

Despite the fact that it's not socially acceptable at my age,
I genuinely LOVE wearing costumes :)

My glasses help me see things that are far away
and I therefore feel the need to remove them
when having face-to-face convos
even though that is totally unnecessary.
(I'm trying to stop)

Yep, yep, yep ...
that's what I would've rambled off the top of my head.
But thankfully I spared the stranger all the above
and told YOU instead, tee hee!

Happy Monday :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009


My cousin Shannon captured this
magical moment...
which is MUCH too great not to share:

I've never had the true fortune
to see the WeinerMobile :(
So I shall live vicariously through her luckiness
and revel in all it's awesomeness :)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Heart Seattle :)

Crew Practice ... Yahoooooo!!

Incredibly Lucky = Me :)

Last night I got to go with my co-worker (Heather)
to her Crew practice on Lake Union!

Not only did I get to go,

I got to ride on the launch boat
(aka: the non-human powered watercraft)
with her super funny coach

which absolutely

After practice the coach asked her class

who would be coming back for the next session

after which I immediately raised
both arms ;)

One can dream,


Toto, I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore! ;)

Monday, August 17, 2009

Expert Vagabond = Me ;)

Have you ever wondered who in their right mind
would pick the "Casual Traveler" line
when facing the challenge of airport security?

I mean,
I can very much understand the line for the
"Group/Family Travelers" ...
That one's pretty self explanatory

And I can fully relate to the "Expert Travelers"
because I proudly place myself in this line every time :)
(insert pat on back here, teehee

Note: there are very few things in life I'm good at.
But last-minute-packing and
bolting to the airport just in-the-nick-of-time
are on my seemingly short list o' talents ;)

I digress

But seriously,
who are these people who consider themselves to be
"Casual Travelers"...

Are they all stoned?
Did they win the lotto?
Do they not know where they're going?

Someday I'd like to meet one of these leisurely nomads
and ask if/how/when I can score me some Xanax


Anyways, all jokes aside,
I'm working with my fellow Nuts from Issaquah, WA this week
and wanted to be sure to say hellooooooo from sunny Seattle :)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

This cracked me up :)

Random Thoughts of the Day:

1. -I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2. -More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. -Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
4. -I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
5. -Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. -That’s enough, Nickelback (Creed and Staind, too).
7. -I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
8. -Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
9. -Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
10. -There is a great need for sarcasm font.
11. -Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it. I think I was the most shocked when I figured out how many references to sex and drugs there were in Clueless.
12. -I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it. Zoolander and anything with Will Ferrell I always do this, but preface to my roommate before the dvd goes in that she can’t complain about it.
13. -How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
14. -I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
15. - I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
16. -The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
17. - A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it. Or go to ASU.
18. - Was learning cursive really necessary?
19. - Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
20. - I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
21. - Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
22. - My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.
23. - Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
24. - How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
25. - I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
26. - Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”. I’ve actually contemplated writing out the examples for my last name (which is really long and involves lots of m’s and n’s) because I constantly have to spell it to give my e-mail address at work.
27. -What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
28. - While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
29. - MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
30. - Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
31. - I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
32. -Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
33. - I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”
34. -I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
35. - Bad decisions make good stories
36. -Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
37. - Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
38. -If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
39. -Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
40. -You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
41. -Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
42. -There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
43. -I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
44. - “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
45. -I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
46. -I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
47. - I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
48. -When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
49. -I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
50. -Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
51. - As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
52. -Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
53. -It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
54. -I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
55. -Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
56. -Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
57. -My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
58. -It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
59. -I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
60. -I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
61. -I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
62. -The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Happy Friday Friends!!

Sorry to be such a bad blogger lately,

Just trying to soak up every minute
of what's left of the Summer!

Thought I'd re-post this
because it's my fav quote of all time
and to me, it never gets old to read :)

Monday, August 10, 2009

500 Days of Summer

As this is my 500th post to Mr. Zip-Do-Da
I find it only appropriate to highly recommend

this great movie

Me likey!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Dear Bill Clinton, I Heart You!

What a wonderful moment in time :)

Phone convo w/ my brother ... Verbatim

Ace, what's up? Why don't you ever call me?
How's work and all your weddings?

Me: Seriously, I swear that's all I do. Go to work and go to weddings. Dude, where'd July go?!

Stephen: Any word back from that Wall Street guy?

Me: No, I fear he was captured by ninjas. Or death by llama.
Those are the only plausible reasons I can think of why he would not just LOVE MY GUTZ!

Stephen: Ace, he's a finance guy and you're a wild woman!
Not meant to be. But I think you might be onto something
with the llamas ...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I Love Greeting Cards :)

This morning I mailed the following cards ...
I just hope my friends think they're as funny as I do ;)




Monday, August 3, 2009

Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark Week!!


I am certain of only two things in life ...
1) I'm totally, entirely "hooked" on Shark Week
2) I'm never swimming in the Ocean ever again!

Yep, yep, yep
I've officially tivo'd every episode on the Discovery Channel
and have to rewind and re-watch constantly,
because I close my eyes every time the sha-zarks attack!


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Congratulations Rachie & Jon :)

Words can't describe your wedding,
so hopefully this will help do the trick!
All my love and best