Let's Talk About My Landlord, Shall We?!?

OMG.OMG.OMG

I neeed to switch lives with my ($%#@ing) Landlord!

Let's rehash my experience yesterday
dropping off our monthly treasure chest
Shall we?

Sans exaggeration,
this is what went down ...

3:01pm
Arrive to Manny's office only to find that the gates to Oz are closed
Bummer


3:02pm
Realize that he is supposed to be there until 5pm -- so I call his lazy ass

3:03pm
We converse as follows ...

Me: Hey Manny, it's Stacey from 5A. I'm here to drop off rent but looks like you're outtie.

Manny: Yes, I'm no in today. So what I've did is I cut small hole in gate. Just drop in there. Ok?

Me: Hmmmm. I'm not seeing this "small hole in gate". Where exactly is it?


Manny: Bottom left. See now? Small hole. Above the white paint.


Me: For serious, Manny?! You want me to leave my check for thirty-three-hundred-dollars in this ramshackle-slit above the white graffiti on your gate?!

Manny: Yes, please! I will collect tomorrow when I come.

Me: You're unreal.

(Click!)

Let's now do some simple math,
shall we?

Manny manages my building of 10 apartments
10 x 3,300 = 33,000

Manny also manages a building in the East Village.
I'm gonna go ahead and assume their rent
is higher than mine due to location.
10 apts x 4,000 = 40,000

Which means,
this morning,
if/when my piece of shit landlord
decides to get his ass off his thrown to collect all the above,
he will open this ghetto-gate to find at least
seventy-three-THOUSAND-dollars behind it!!

In the words of my mainman Harry Carry,
"Hooooolllyy Cow"

Repeat:
I neeed to switch lives with my ($%#@ing) Landlord!