I am not a morning person.
Nope, no I am not.
And I am clearly not a terrorist.
Nope, not one of those either.
But when I electively choose the very first flight out in the morning, I cannot blame security for checking me twice.
Not only do I look like a cross between Hermione and Hagrid, but my incredibly fowl mood makes me seem like an enemy of Harry Potter himself.
And so, I understand when the overweight man (with three strands of hair and a strawberry jelly seed stuck between his two front teeth) screams, "BAAAAG CHECK!" upon my arrival through security ...
I would be scared of me too at 5:45am!
What I don't understand is why, when asked to walk through the x-ray machine thingy for an oh-so-necessary second time, that I immediately put my hands up and walk through like a zombie. As if the x-ray machine thingy is going to catch anything different this time when I look like I've just walked off the set of "Thriller".
And then, when the nice security peeps unveil that I am of no threat or danger, we are able to converse like besties ... I am able to say "thank you" (for no apparent reason whatsoever) and they are able to say things like, "Great sweatshirt! Go Bears!"
No ... Do not "Go Bears!" me. Not right now.
Although it may now be confirmed now that I am not a terrorist, I am still not a morning person. So until the sun officially rises, do not "Go Bears!" me with that harsh Brooklyn accent.
And, to the lady sitting next to me, plllleeeeeease stop talking about your cat! No one cares.
But all of this I have brought upon myself ...
Next time, I will remember to fly at night ;)
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1 comment:
You make me laugh! I read your blog all the time. I actually get salty when you sometimes go days without posting...like you owe your time to the masses or something. But, then I think "she can't sleep" and I know the next day there will be a new post from some ridiculous hour like 3am.
Anywho, hope all is well.
And FYI...I sat next to Osama's twin brother on the way home from my bachelor party. I was so drunk I almost tweaked out. I'll take the "cat lady: anyday of the week.
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