Zippidy Do Da!

Big big weekend ...

Sunday, February 1st is not just the Super Bowl,
it's also the Golden Bday of my bloggidy-blozzoggle :)

Who can believe it's been a year???
Yowzers

This is how I feel about that ;)

More to come on Sund ...
until then,
HAPPY FRIDAY :)

I shouldn't find this funny ... but I just do!

Melissa Hall (no, we're not related) sent me an email yesterday and I couldn't help but to laugh ... She wrote:

Cuz, I'm getting caught up on your blog and saw your fire hydrant post. Seems like things in your hood get taken a lot! Yesterday on the news I heard that two men were caught on video stealing an ATM on Clinton Street...not just the money in the ATM, but the whole ATM...God knows what they'll do with a hydrant!

I normally don't find theft and vandalism funny, but this made me crack up because I immediately thought of that part in Zoolander ... You know, "The files are in the computer!?" part ...

Gets me every time ;)

"Still Surreal"

With one year in Manhattan under my belt now,
if I had to describe this city in two words,
they would simply be:
Still surreal!

St. Marks Street @ Midnight
East Village

HAPPY BDAY MAGGIE!!

Since you can't be home in Cali today,
just thought I'd try to bring the beach to you :)

Confession:

I am addicted to reading Post Secret

Is it twisted that I love reading other people's anonymous confessions?!

Never mind, don't answer that ;)

Words I Love

• Snuggle
• Shag
• Onomatopoeia
• Oxymoron
• Giggle :)
  

Words I Don't Love

• Moist (siiiiiiiiiiiiick!)
  
• Sweat (because it should be spelled "swet")
  
• Cunt (sooooo trashy)
  
• Panties (please just say "unders")
  
• Hate (so strong, only causes regrets)
  

Could Just Be Me ...

But seriously I mean,
are these pipe things really such a hot-commodity?

Looks more like a Chinese torture device!

Foot In Mouth ...

Over the weekend I was having a conversation with a couple of my closest girlfriends, one of which is gay. The topic was relationships (when is it not???) so we were bullshitting about the differences between heterosexual and homosexual couples.

As I have no filter,
my crass mouth blurted the following:

****

She was joking around and goes,
"Well you know, we lesbos just love that L word"

To which I replied,
"What? Labia?"

****

Ummmmm ....
inappropriate much?!?!?!?

Seriously,
someone please buy me a muzzle!

Mark Twain Once Said,

"Everything in moderation, including moderation"

This quote makes me feel a little better about the fact that I had to call Donnybrook tonight, to see if I left my slippers there ...

Hmmmmmmm

Maybe next Saturday I will refrain from encouraging my friends to have "one last drink" (and a late night dance party) at the cornerbar.

"Maybe" being the keyword in that sentence ... doubtful ;)

HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDS :)

Thoughts on Organized Chaos

In addition to being a pack-rat,
I'm admittedly also a "pile-er"

Lots of little piles make me feel like there's a sense of order,
even though it may appear the opposite

This is how I live ...
in the great land I call
"Organized Chaos"

Exhibit Address Book :)


Exhibit Accessories:

Although it may look
like Claire's Boutique vomited all over my dresser,
that is not the case!
This little eye sore makes perfect sense to me :)

Exhibit Belts:


Exhibit IIII:
Bags & Scarves


Exhibit 5:
Hats & Gloves


Exhibit Six:
Shoooooooeeeeeessss :)


Exhibit G:
Ok, may be my electronics drawer
could use a little extra lovin' ;)


(PS: have no fear, the Christmas card door remains in tact!)

Point of Post ...

As it's January,
we are inundated with ads, articles and reminders that
"it's time to get organized!"

So cheers to you
Container Store!

And you too
Bed, Bath & Beyond!

But this little "pile-er"
just isn't ready to fully subscribe to that lifestyle ...

So I say cheers
to the land of Organized Chaos!

:)

Dear Bikram Yoga .... What.The.Shit?!?!

Why ya gotta kick my ass like that?!?!

<<<<<<<

Let's rewind,
shall we?

While I was still all doped up on hope-ium after Barack's speech,
I came across this overtly inspiring card
at my most fav nick-nack shop :)


Of course the little hussy on the cover
just had to be doing yoga ...

Repeat: Yoga!

(Insert anxiety here)

Yep,
the one activity I've been avoiding like the treadmill
since I was sent back down to the minors :(

>>>>>>

Facing fear straight in the eye,
I entered my new yoga studio tonight
for the 9pm (90 minute ... eeeeek!)
Bikram (suicide) session

HOT DAMN!
HO.LY. WOW!

I've never been so sober in my entire life!!

Of the 453 ounces of swet that seeped out of my pours
(this is a rough guesstimate, but I fear it's on par)
I think my skin literally ooozed out every single (terrific) toxin
that has encountered my bod since New Years Eve ...

And although I'm not a betting gal,
I would put my (non-existent) mortgage on the table
that from this drippidy-drippage,
you coulda mixed one hell-of-a-cocktail ;)

(Just being being honest!)

But I'm SO glad that I went
and I'm even more glad that I found that card.
Because the truth of the matter is,
my "someday" is right now,
and I'd rather realize that sooner than later

Happy Fresh Start to All :)

"Why I Should Not Diet" By Stacey Marie Hall

In honor of all the fabulousness that Barack Obama inspired our country with today, I met a bunch of girlfriends out for celebration libations this evening :)

And just as today marks a new day upon our Nation's history,
I deemed it a new day upon my totally shit eating habits.

That was at 8:30pm ...

The nice waitress lady brought me my Bud Light and Asian Mango Tofu salad and I looked at her as if she'd just handed me herpes.

I didn't want that G-damn salad,
I really just wanted to order the mother f%@king nachos!!

This however, was not the nice waitress's fault.
I was the victim who ordered the lettuce, and therefore,
I needed to deal with the consequences.

And the minutes passed,
and Barack and Michelle danced and danced,
and we girls talked and talked and drank and drank ...
BUT ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WERE THOSE G-DAMN NACHOS!!

So what did I do?
I ordered them.
Of course I ordered them.

Because I am an a-hole like that.
An a-hole who SHOULD NOT DIET
BECAUSE SHE'S AWFUL AT IT!!

Thanks to this "great idea" of mine, there's a little Asian Mango sitting in my belly right now who's all buzzed on beer and continues to pick a fight with the Mexican Pinto Beans. The sour cream tries to bring peace to the rumble, but his lard ass only gets kung-fu panda'd by the lean mean Tofu and makes matters worse!

This my friends ...
is why I should not diet

THE END ;)

Thoughts on the East Coast vs the West Coast ...

Let's be real, leaving sunny San Diego was hard enough as it was ... but then you go ahead and pile on a 6 hour flight, a +3 hour time diff, and a -50 degree temperature change!! :(

Ever since the plane landed safely onto the tarmac at JFK airport, I can't help but to notice the polar opposites between the West Coast lifestyle and that of the East.

The moment the doors to the plane opened, it was as if Michael Buffer came on the load speaker and started announcing the Belmont Stakes ...

"Aaaaaaand, they're off! The man in Seat 5A is in the lead. He's just cut off the woman from First Class who took too long getting her luggage from the overhead bin. Loooook out for the old geezer from 24C, she's got a walker and she's ready to use it! Now 5A is back in the lead. Oh, wait a minute! Out of no where ... the security guard has clinched 'em all. He's got it! First man to the baggage claim. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a 'weiner'!!" ;)

Memories of laid back, olive skin, blond hair, surfer dudes seem to be a dwindling image of a recent past :(

Then it's straight to the train to race to make it on time to my Dodgeball game ...

"Should I take the LIRR or the Subway? Shit! My MetroCard is empty. Hurry, run, the orange F is coming! You can take that one and transfer to the J/M/Z. Board train. Sit down. Shit-fuck-sick! I sat in pee. How do I always fucking manage to sit in piss?!?! (Tell myself it's just Mountain Dew). Move seats. Turn on iPod. Hum along to 'California Stars' by Wilco."

Memories of sitting shot gun, driving along the freeways, staring at the Pacific Ocean seem to be a dwindling image of a recent past :(

Walking home from Dodgeball, I felt torn about my love for two Coasts ... but I've decided that it is only natural to adore them both. After all, I am in fact, a girl from the Midwest :)

San Diego (Insert Deep Sigh Here)

Thank you Jess & Mike for having me!

I know you don't control the weather,
but thank you-thank you-thank you
for making it 80 and sunny the whole weekend ...

Much appreciated :)





Can't wait to see you again in a month
for the weeeedddddddinnnnng!!

Xoxoxo

P.S.
If I wasn't glued to the Inauguration coverage,
I would blog about all the awesomeness that San Diego has to offer ... stay tuned for rave reviews on The Oceanaire Seafood Room and Hash House a Go Go ...
Yummmmmm :)

Happy Happy MLK Weekend!!

My Macedonian Christmas :)

Since Alyssa & I don't exactly have our acts together,
we agreed to celebrate "Macedonian Christmas" this year

A) Because she is in fact, Macedonian
and
B) Well, because their Christmas falls on January 7th,
and neither one of us got around to buying each other gifts
before we left for the Holidays ... woops!

Sidenote: We really meant to celebrate on January 7th,
but we both kinda missed that deadline too ...
double wooops!

Looking at the remnense, one would think
it was an exchange between a 2 and a 7 year old buuut,
it was however, the exchange between two 27 year olds

The Walkie-Talkies were a hit,
and the inflatable beer bottle ring toss
is sure to be as well come Super Bowl Sunday :)

Confession:
The DVD of Goldfish swimming in a bowl
could be my new favorite "movie" ever made!
It's like we have little Jawz back again ;)

I'm overly anxious to read my new book called
"I Live Here"
a four part story which I fully plan to devour
on my plane ride to San Diego tonight!!




With all the coverage and proximity to the Hudson River plane crash, I didn't sleep all too well last night ... So on a sentimental note, I just wanted to take a sec to wish everyone a wonderful, healthy, and very Happy Friday :)

Gnomes In Training ...

When I need a laugh,
I love looking at old funny photos

These pix cracked me up today,
so I thought I'd post 'em
for you to share our little funny as well :)

Happy (almost) Friday!