Thanks to Wi-Fi ...

This is where I'm working from this morning :)

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Happy 100th Postday!!

 
This "Jack of Many, Master of None"
has actually stuck with something!!

And as a result,
today my bloggidy-blog-blog is 100 posts old :)

Hip Hip Hoooooooray!!

But what does one write about on such a momentous occasion?

I thought about this last night
and then immediately shut my computer off.

The thing is, you can't think about these things. They have come. And they always do!

That's what I've loved most about blogging ... it's never forced. Just thoughts out loud. Impulsive. Scheduleless. Spontaneous. Random. Thoughts. And pictures. Gotta love the pictures. All brought about by the things in life that just happen to happen :)

So, I've decided to write this entry about the first thought that came to mind last night when I started over thinking.

First thought: "I am totally still scarred from that damn '100' project in the 1st grade."
Second thought: "I hope that I live to be 100"

So, today I'd like to share the ever-so-scarring story
from Mrs. Kirch's first grade classroom ...

I was all of seven years old.
I wore a lot of hand-me-down clothes.
And I loved anything that was loved by my older siblings.
Whatever Jamie and Stephen said, I did.

So when Mrs. Kirch gave us the homework assignment to bring in "100 of the same thing" -
I immediately turned to the dynamic duo for advice.

At the time,
Stephen was 10, and at the peak of his smart ass phase.
Jamie was 13, and as always, was using my parent's landline.

So when I asked my wiser older brother what he thought I should bring for my "100 project", he replied
"boogers!"
(obviously)

And for weeks, I picked my poor little nose.
And then I returned to class, ever-so-proud,
of my bacteria based collection.
And I will NEVER forget that (once) short walk from my designated coat hook, to my designated desk.

Erin Estey had perfectly glued 100 pennies to a poster board.
Juan Romo made a tree house out of 100 twigs.
Jenny Mathison-Moore made a snow man out of 100 cotton balls.
Chris Connell built a replica of the Sears Tower with 100 legos.
Brooke Bicknell baked 100 sugar cookies
(she had a stay home mom)
Lacey Lofton made a mosaic from 100 pieces of colored glass
(she was an only child)

And then there was me ...
With my g*d damn 8.5 x 11 sheet of loose leaf paper,
covered in 100 hand picked boogers.

I wanted to die.
No, I was past death.
At that very moment in life, I would have rather dropped my lunch tray in the cafeteria WITH my pants down.
Yep, it was that bad.

I'll never forget folding that white sheet of paper into a million little pieces and ever-so-meekishly telling Mrs. Kirch that
"I'd forgotten mine at home."
(Note: this was VERY unlike me. I lived for homework!
I lived for shit like this!)

And I was respectful in praising everyone else's projects.
And I ate Brooke Bicknell's (stuupid f*&%king) sugar cookie.
And I complimented Juan Romo's tree house (even though I thought he smelled and that his twig idea was tooootally lame).

(Funny how twenty years later
this still stays with me like it was yesterday)

So, the point of the story is this:
If I were to be given the same assignment from Mrs. Kirch today,
I would bring in my blog :)

I'd bring these 100 posts,
and I would tell Lacey Lofton to shove her stained glass window up her ass!

And I'd tell Erin Estey that she should have just brought in a dollar
and saved herself the glue-job on the 100 pennies.

And then I'd probably drop my tray in the cafeteria
(with my pants down)
just because it's funny!

BECAUSE LIFE IS INCREDIBLY FUNNY ...
We all just need to take a little more time to laugh about it :)

So cheers!
Cheers to smart ass big brothers!
Cheers to 100 hand picked boogers!
And cheers to 100 more blog posts
  

I Wish

Although we all wish our best friends will only marry once, I wish mine would get married a million times over (to the same men, of course!) ... These weddings are just SOO g*d damn fun :)

However, this wedding weekend surpassed fun.
This wedding weekend was something entirely different.
A cross between incredibly special and unbelievably perfect.
It was everything you could, would, and should ever wish for your best friend!

Of course there were a few minor mishaps ...
And a few (too many) cocktails ...
But, in 50 years, it will be the Makers Mark and the mischieve that we will forever crack up about, right?!?!

With each wedding, I learn something new ...

Perhaps a tradition: that a bride should always wear something borrowed and something blue.
Perhaps a logistic: like that when they say the church ceremony starts at 3pm, it actually does.
Perhaps an esthetic: like how brides pay good money for the bows wrapped around each chair. Therefore, they are not be untied and placed around your head at the end of the evening ;)

Here is what I learned at Meg & Sam's:

Your best friends will always be beautiful in your eyes. But, this is indisputable by all when they become a bride.
I personally just happen to think that this is even further irrefutable, when the bride rocks a tambourine :)

I've never really thought about it before but, I've come to learn that I absolutely love the Conga Line. Like, really love it! To the point that if you asked me what my perfect day would consist of, I would likely reply that, I do not know yet. But, it would most definitely include an impromtu conga line. Ideally this would happen in a very obscure location, such as the Mini-Mart or possibly on public transportation, but I'll take what I can get ;)

I've learned that the limbo is for the limber
(and therefore I shall not post an image here)

But, on the other hand, kareokee is for all who care to.
I've learned that "Jessie's Girl" is to be sang loudly, proudly, and as often as humanly possible. (Should you be able to somehow score a trumpet while doing so ... all the better!)

I learned that it's maybe not a good idea to ask an unsuspecting man
to be your "Patrick Swayze".
And it's an even worse idea, to take a running start directly at him.
Note: there is nothing "Dirty" about this type of dancing.
Take my word for it,
you will only end up looking like a suicidal star fish!

And lastly, I learned from this wedding in particular,
that true love exists.
And so for my last wish,
I wish that we should all be so lucky to find it :)

Gooooooood Morning!

Thoughts on Airport Security

I am not a morning person.
Nope, no I am not.

And I am clearly not a terrorist.
Nope, not one of those either.

But when I electively choose the very first flight out in the morning, I cannot blame security for checking me twice.

Not only do I look like a cross between Hermione and Hagrid, but my incredibly fowl mood makes me seem like an enemy of Harry Potter himself.

And so, I understand when the overweight man (with three strands of hair and a strawberry jelly seed stuck between his two front teeth) screams, "BAAAAG CHECK!" upon my arrival through security ...
I would be scared of me too at 5:45am!

What I don't understand is why, when asked to walk through the x-ray machine thingy for an oh-so-necessary second time, that I immediately put my hands up and walk through like a zombie. As if the x-ray machine thingy is going to catch anything different this time when I look like I've just walked off the set of "Thriller".

And then, when the nice security peeps unveil that I am of no threat or danger, we are able to converse like besties ... I am able to say "thank you" (for no apparent reason whatsoever) and they are able to say things like, "Great sweatshirt! Go Bears!"

No ... Do not "Go Bears!" me. Not right now.
Although it may now be confirmed now that I am not a terrorist, I am still not a morning person. So until the sun officially rises, do not "Go Bears!" me with that harsh Brooklyn accent.

And, to the lady sitting next to me, plllleeeeeease stop talking about your cat! No one cares.

But all of this I have brought upon myself ...
Next time, I will remember to fly at night ;)

Encouraging News ;)

As if the 100 degree weather wasn't bad enough ...
http://wcbstv.com/local/herpes.new.york.2.743868.html

Confession: Every time I read the word "herpes", I can't help but to laugh ... is that entirely awful?!?

Jack of Many ... Master of None

Do you ever feel like you're really good at a lot of things, but not really great at any?

Like, this week I signed up for Karate class (no joke) but I know I'll never be able to kick anyones ass (not even a midget's, let's be honest).
I love Yoga but I can't hold the (f@%king) "fly pose" to save my life.
Spanish came to a screeching halt at the Pluperfect tense.
Guitar crashed (quite literally).
Improv is on hold.
I've yet to ever really finish the Book Club selections before the monthly meetings. (Note to Self: start reading "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" ASAP!)
Sign Language was a total bust (...I talked the entire time).
Cake decorating class never happened.
All home improvement tasks I've ever started still remain unfinished.
Some days I completely forget to blog.
"Laying out at the beach" is not a legit hobby (same goes for "drinking with friends").
And Trivial Pursuit so kindly reminds me that I know very little about a lot.

So, per usual, I find no rhyme or reason to my sleep procrastinating thoughts. Just fessing up, I guess, to the fact that I am indeed a Jack of Many and a Master of None.

But stay tuned -- I could be a black belt by July ;) Hahahhaha

Lots a' Matzah!

We really just meant to go get a drink.
"One drink" is what I believe I signed up for.
And so goes the story of my life...

But I am not upset with myself today solely because, without the previously mentioned libations, I do not think we would have stopped into Streit's Matzo Factory on our walk home.

And had we not stopped to watch, learn and tastes how they "maka the matzah", we may never have stopped to think of all the other "fun things" you can do with this unleavened bread ...

Case dismissed ;)

Best of Family Union 2008 :)

(click to enlarge)

Thoughts on Sleeping

I'm not a very good sleeper ...
believe me, I've tried just about every trick in the book.

I know I could just call a doc and get meds to knock me out. Problem being: I know that the aforementioned doc will give me these meds ... and then tell me I shouldn’t drink when using. Given it’s technically summer now – who are we kidding here?!?!

My friend Jamie believes she has the remedy to my sleep issues:

“Count sheep, Stace. Each has to be dressed in a different outfit. And each has to do the limbo in a different way. Not one can be the same. By 10, I guarantee you’ll be out cold!”

Let me tell ya, I have tried this alleged cure to tame my spaz brain but by 10, I might as well have been out buying cold beer ...
the parties in my head are off the hook!

For example, one time the sheep that came dressed as a lama invited his hippo friends. And the Marilyn Monroe-hippo called her rhino buddy who came "plus one" with a giraffe (obviously). And you just know shit’s gonna get weird when you’ve got a giraffe wearing jockey’s doing the limbo in your living room!!

Sometimes I party in my dreams with my animal friends until the wee hours of the morning. And just when the Zookeeper comes to break it all up, my mind calls it a night … finally ;)

(My friend Brandy illustrated this for me ... isn't she great?!?)

Ya Gotta Love the Windy City ...

Because only in Chicago, can the weather manage to plunge 31-degrees between Monday and Tuesday, yet the Cubbies can still manage to pull off a W :) Yessssssssssssssssssssss

Sweet Home, Chicago!

I would blog and post pix from my best friend's bachlorette party over the weekend ... but in the case anyone involved would ever like to run for office, I shall refrain from doing so ;)

After being back a few days now, I've made a list of things I miss most about home ... it goes a little something like this:

- Seeing friends, old and new, that make me laugh endlessly :)
- Walking the lake front (while secretly wishing I owned a condo on Lake Shore Drive, a pontoon boat, and stock in Castaways)
- Stopping into the Field House to give the bartender a hug
- Eating at Tarascas (only to be strategically seated in the back because the owner says, "Please don't take offense to this, but you girls are just so loud!")
- Bikes riding through the forest preserve with my fam (while constantly making fun of my mom's unbelievably nerdy bike helmet)
- My dad's pancakes for breakfast
- My sister's famous salad concoctions for dinner
- My brother's ability to do absolutely nothing, and be praised for it ;)
- Wagner Farm
- Dairy Queen
- Driving a car (and parking directly in front of where I need to be!)
- Hanging out with my Grandma Stella and hearing her say things like, "Oh, that's a bunch a bunk!" and "Come on now, that's for the birds!" or (my personal favorite) "Do you have a boyfriend yet? Just be smart. Why buy the cow if he gets the milk for free?" (Awesome)
- The list goes on ...

Needless to say, it's a fact that I miss Chicago ... a lot

But I must admit, after seeing all the American flags raised yesterday in honor of Memorial Day, I felt incredibly proud of New York. The way the city has collectively rebuilt with such resilience and spirit post 9/11, has brought honor to our entire country :)

So, at the end of the day, I feel incredibly lucky to have the opportunity to experience and embrace the best of both!

Chicago: A+
New York: A+

Happy Memorial Day!

Underground Treasures

Arts for Transit is a program that commissions mosaics, sculptures, and other hidden treasures underground "to help make each MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) station unique & beautiful*"

(*hahaha, "beautiful" ... really?!?! That's quite a generous term considering we are talking about the Zoo York City subway system)

Regardless, I think this program is great :)
Kudos to them! Keep doin' what you're doin'!

So far, these pieces done by (the incredibly awesome) Tom Otterness are my personal favs:

Only in Manhattan ...

A Real First ...

Not only do I have the best friends,
but my friends have the best jobs!

So whereas last week I went to the movies by my lonesome,
last night I went to the new Indiana Jones movie with:

(Insert theme music here)


Ashanti ...

Calista Flockhart ....

And Indiana Jones himself!

(If I worked for UsWeekly, I'd totally caption this photo something super lame like, "Look! Harrison Ford eats popcorn just like us!")

I wonder if the red carpet celebs also went out after and proceeded to consume waaay too many Miller Lite drafts?

Did they also come home only to find their Clean&Clear face wash was empty and therefore opted for Ivory soap instead?

I wonder if Calista also wears Old Navy jammers and forgets to set her alarm? (Indiana Jones, not so much ... he's infallible, it's a fact)

How does one actually become an Adventure Archaeologist?!?!

Who knows ...

What I do know is that George Lucas must have been smokin' some damn good ganja when he wrote this script, and Steven Spielberg pretty much blew his load with the special effects.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, I'm not gonna lie, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) should have been exactly that ... the last crusade ;)

Definitely a rental

Stupid People Crack Me Up!

This is by far my most favorite recent posting to OverheardInNewYork.com

Guy: Wait, what part of New York is Chicago in?
Girl: What?! Chicago isn't in New York! Chicago is its own state.
Guy: No, it's not a state! It's called the "Windy City."
Girl: Oh, right. I guess it is in New York then.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Hang on, I'll look it up on my Blackberry.

-- Overheard at Fordham University

My Googley Eye Crew ... So Far :)

http://www.myspace.com/googlyeyecru

Happy Victoria Day!

Today is Victoria Day in Canada ... it is celebrated on the last Monday before or on May 24 in honor of both Queen Victoria and the current reigning Canadian sovereign's birthdays.

When googling to find out more about this public holiday, I learned that it is not just a Canadian event ... Victoria Day is also celebrated and observed in Scotland & the Cayman Islands.

Hmmmmmm ... I'm sorry, but if you live in the Cayman Islands ... isn't EVERY DAY a freakin' holiday?!?!

R.I.P.

Dear Jawz,
You were a really great fish.
Like, a really really really great goldfish.
I'll never forget the 34 days we got to hang.
I'm so very sorry I overfed you.
Rest in peace buddy ...

P.S Do you miss me?!? I miss you :(

(I wonder if that Sugar Glider is still for sale?!?!?)

Those Who Stay Will Be Champions

Even though I only weigh about a buck forty ...

I still get psyched every time I walk out my front door ;)

Extreme Home Make Over :)

Day One ...

Day One Hundred :)

Then ...

Now ...

Before ...

After ...

February...

May :)

"Suite" 5A

VISITORS WELCOME!!!

Thoughts on Art & Poetry

While we're on the topic of the Beat Generation ...

My favorite poem ever written is “Why I’m not a painter”
by Frank O’Hara.

The first time I read this I was at Michigan. I remember reading it once, and then over and over again ... I still love it to this day :)

Why I Am Not a Painter

I am not a painter, I am a poet.
Why? I think I would rather be
a painter, but I am not. Well,

for instance, Mike Goldberg
is starting a painting. I drop in.
"Sit down and have a drink" he
says. I drink; we drink. I look
up. "You have SARDINES in it."
"Yes, it needed something there."
"Oh." I go and the days go by
and I drop in again. The painting
is going on, and I go, and the days
go by. I drop in. The painting is
finished. "Where's SARDINES?"
All that's left is just
letters, "It was too much," Mike says.

But me? One day I am thinking of
a color: orange. I write a line
about orange. Pretty soon it is a
whole page of words, not lines.
Then another page. There should be
so much more, not of orange, of
words, of how terrible orange is
and life. Days go by. It is even in
prose, I am a real poet. My poem
is finished and I haven't mentioned
orange yet. It's twelve poems, I call
it ORANGES. And one day in a gallery
I see Mike's painting, called SARDINES.

As a result, this is my most favorite painting:

(Sardines, Michael Goldberg, 1955)

That in mind, it comes as no surprise that my second favorite painting in the world is Mark Rothko’s “Orange”:

But even though I love both “Sardines” and “Orange” madly, there may be no greater work of art than my third favorite “painting”…

Tee hee :)

The Neatest Thing Happened this Morning ...

Every morning I walk up Avenue A and make a left onto 2nd Street ... this is my daily route to Gracefully
(a.k.a Home of the bestest muffins in America!)


Today however, I decided to walk on the north side of the street because that was the sunny side of the sidewalk :)
And low-and-behold, as I was looking at all the apartment entrances,
my eye caught this plaque:

I was so taken back by how awesome this is/was!!


Holy wow ... Allen Ginsberg, one of the most renowned poets and activists of the Beat Generation, once lived and wrote history, just 2 blocks from my apartment!!! How incredibly cool :)


I'll never look at 170 2nd Street (or my copy of "Howl")
the same way ever again!

Check out Ann :)

...my other tree-friend (Arbor) is not quite as photogenic ;)

February (taken on the day I moved in!)

March

April

May

Other Fun Facts I Love :)

* All porcupines can float

* In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase, "Goodnight, sleep tight!"

* The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV:
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

* In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down!" This is where we get the phrase, "Mind your P's and Q's"

* 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

* It is impossible to lick your elbow (... Take my word for this one!)

A Real First ...

So I went to see the midnight showing of "The Visitor" at the Sunshine Cinema on Houston Street ...

Honestly, I wasn't feeling weird at all that I was alone (I secretly love going to the movies by myself!)

I arrived right at 11:59pm (so not to miss the pre-views ... I secretly love those too)

Cherry coke ... check
Swedish Fish ... check
Popcorn (with extra butter) ... check-check!

I walked in and ... there was absolutely no one else in the theater.

I figured people would trickle in casually late ... but no one did!

So it was just me
At the movies
Feet up
Phone on (why not, right?)
Chillin' with the big screen :)

Hahahaha -- How Bizarre!

Ya Learn Something New Everyday!

Coming back from New Jersey Sunday night, we pulled up to the gas station ... and no one moved an inch.

Delirious from weekend, I was admittedly on a good one-minute-mind-delay. But then, after two minutes, I was kinda like, "Uhhhh, guys? I fear the gas isn't going to up and pump itself."

And then, outta no where, I heard the tank beginning to fill!!

I thought to myself:

WTF?!?! None of us have any money ... why the hell are we paying the full-service price?? Isn't gas expensive enough now a days?!?!
Are we in a bad neighborhood now? I could swear I just saw a Banana Republic! Should I lock the doors?!?

And then the voice of reason said, "Relax, Stace! It's illegal to pump your own gas in New Jersey"

WHAT?!?! This is hysterical :)

Well, Hello there Mister Gas Pumping Man!!

I wanted to say, "I have no clue why you pumping our gas for free and not making me get out of the car, but thank you!!" And I wanted to tell him that if I owned a car myself, I would definitely move to Jers!
(But don't worry, I refrained)

So, for anyone else out there who was a virgin to this little known piece of awesomeness, here's the scoop behind this entirely outdated law:

The "Garden State" is one of two states where it's illegal to fill 'er up yourself. Only gas station owners or employees can pump gas in New Jersey AND Oregon. NJ passed the law making it illegal to pump your own gas in 1949. At the time, legislators felt it was too dangerous to have untrained people dispensing such a flammable liquid. Today, proponents of this law argue that it creates jobs and customers like full service (... namely, Stacey Hall! hahaha)

Confession:

I slept through my yoga class this morning.

Not the kind where you wake up at 9am, look at the clock, and scream "FUUUUUUCK! I overslept!"

It was the kind where I woke up at 6:45am, looked at the clock, looked out the window, saw rain, pressed snooze, and consciously elected sleeping over stretching .... ya, that kind.

Honestly though, the thought of doing the downward dog and several sun salutations just wasn't doin' it for me today.

And I really really like this yoga studio ...

And I really really like Ani, my instructor lady ...

But as long as we're on the topic of confessions ... I must admit, this one instructor (James), kinda freaks me out a little bit

(Sorry, James ... Just being honest!)