Zippidy Do Da: March 2013

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Sunday, March 24, 2013

I totally caught this piece of shit cold that's going around and "might have" signed up for a free trial membership at the Lakeshore Health Club just so I could use the steam room to get this f&%king bullshit out of my system. Have I ever told you that I rarely get sick and when I do, it is NOT my best color?!?!?

Genius

What did my Dentist send me as a thank you for
referring three of my co-workers?

Allow me to zoom in on the awesomeness:

The best part of this genius tactic to get even more patients,
is that after our team devoured half of each cookie,
I took the wounded bouquet to my parents house
as it arrived the night of my sister's bday dinner...
Extra dessert. Score!

I just wish I had a picture of the dinner table because my mom thought it was "so cute" (note: please feel free to re-read the aforementioned paragraph for the visual of half-eaten teeth and headless teddy bear cookies) that she put it in the center of the table, in place of the flowers.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMIE!" ;)

#cheerstoanotheryearofhallfamilydisfunction

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Confession of a guilty single female

While holding a friend's 3 month old baby (for a hot second) post feeding, the adorable creature spit up on me after which I dry heaved and handed the child back to its rightful owner.

Admit: dry heaved.

It just happened. My eyes saw the vomit and my nose caught wind. I couldn't stop my gag-reflex. It was mortifying. As if I already don't feel like my mom-friends think I'm a martian. Thank GOD everyone had a sense of humor about it and we all laughed. Well, they laughed. I'm still trying to figure out how a smell like that can actually come out of someone's mouth.

T-minus four weeks to figure a "few" things out before my niece arrives...