Thoughts on Insomnia

Since this 100 degree heat nonsense began,

I've been having a love-hate relationship with the AC in my room.

I absolutely love it during the day when it chills the whole apartment simply by being on the lowest possible output -- and I positively loathe it when I close my door to go to sleep ... and wake up frozen to the bone with a nose that could rival Rudolph and nips that could cut glass!

But I'm ever thankful that I seem to have grown out of my sleeping issues. This was a journal entry I wrote a few years ago around this same time. Thought I'd bring it back for shits and giggles :)

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THOUGHTS ON INSOMNIA

My college boyfriend used to tell me,

“Don't worry about it; you can sleep when you’re dead!”

Definitely not the most romantic one-liner,

but so goes the story of my life ;)

I know I could just call a doc and get meds to zonk me out.

Problem being, I know that said doc will give me said meds…

and then tell me I shouldn’t drink when using.

Given it’s Summer in Chicago – who are we kidding here?!?

My boss recently gave me a pointer. “Count sheep –”

“Already tried that.” I interrupted.

“No, let me finish. Count sheep - each dressed in a different outfit, each having to do the limbo in a different way. Not one can be the same. By 10, I guarantee you’ll be out cold.”

So I attempted this alleged cure to tame my spaz-brain but by 10, I might as well have been out buying cold beer…
the party in my head was off the hook!

The sheep that came dressed as a lama invited his hippo friends. And the Marilyn Monroe-Hippo called her rhino buddy who came plus one with a giraffe (obviously). And you just know shit’s gonna get weird when you’ve got a giraffe wearing jockey’s doing the limbo in your living room!

I partied with my animal friends until the wee hours of the morning. And just when the Zookeeper came to break it all up,
my mind called it a night… finally.

Illustration by Brandy Pudzis, created for this entry :)