You Know I’m Lying When You Hear Me Say

"Wow, I don't usually talk this much!"

"I swear I don't usually drink this much!"

"Seriously, do I have tapeworm? I honestly never eat this much"

"Is it already 4am?!? Yikes, I never stay out this late!"

"Your little tiny dog is adorable … I want one!"

"You should come over for dinner … I cook!"

"Coffee doesn't usually make me this wired …"

"I promise I'm not normally so late, it's just that the subway …"

"I just love getting dressed up!"

"This new diet I'm on is awesome!"

"Yep, I've worked out every day this week"

"I'm not usually this competitive on Board Game night … Don't know what's gotten into me."

"I'm really good with money. A penny saved is a penny earned!"

"I think I'll be a great mom someday ... I just wanna have litters of babies!"

"Ya, me too, I rarely ever drink alone …"

"Ya, sex is so overrated."