Confession:

During midnight mass I fell asleep (twice) and when I was awake, I started wondering when was the last time my pastor had sex?
I wondered how often he has sex, and if he feels guilty when he does it. I then stared to think back to the last time I had sex, and wondered when the next time will (ever) be. Then (thank God, literally) the offering tray came around so I quickly snapped out of it and threw in a twenty dollar bill (partially, because it was all I had in my wallet, and partially, because I felt so damn guilty for thinking about the horizontal hokey-pokey IN CHURCH!)

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus ;)