Thoughts on Hot Water Amnesia

Confession:
I like to take hot hot hot hot hot hot hot showers.
Like, the kind that makes your face turn Crayola beat-red.

I also like to take super loooooooooooong showers.
Like, the kind that makes your fingers wrinkle.

Problem being, I get so lost in thought,
that I can never remember if I've shampooed or conditioned :(

The process goes something like this:

Wash hair.
Remind self that I have washed hair.
Start to think about the million things on my mind...

- Who's birthday is today?
- Did I send a card?
- Fuuuuuuck! I still haven't sent any of my wedding gifts.
- Double fuck! I still haven't mailed Katie Rakoczy's wedding gift. She's been married for 2 years now! This is bad. This is really bad. Remember to say something to her at Gina's wedding this weekend. Better yet, just remember to bring the gift to Gina's wedding. Problem solved!- God I gotta do that expense report ASAP. Do that tonight.
- How could I forget to pay my credit card bill this month? I never do that. What the f is wrong with me? Arrrrgh .... I hate late fees. Never again!
- Shit, I neeeeeed to return "The Things They Lost in the Fire" to Blockbuster. Do that tonight too.
- I really loved Woody Allen's new movie "Vicky Christina Barcelona" :) Especially the ending. Maybe one of my most favorite endings to a movie ever.
- Penelope Cruise is gorgeous. Thank God for her that she didn't marry Tom Cruise.
- I wonder when my brother will marry Kendra? Man she's such a catch. And an ER Doctor to boot! That story about her patient's broken arm today was CRAZY. I hope they get married on a beach and have a clam bake. I wanna wear a lobster bib :)
- Have I mailed my response cards yet for Bob & Becky's weddings? Do that in the morning.
Have I washed my hair yet?
(Re)Wash hair.

- When's the last time I shaved my legs?
- I'm glad I worked out today. Much needed.
- (Nameless friend) looked way too skinny at the BBQ on Saturday. I hope she's not doing coke.
- Where do you even buy coke in the city? I always picture those deals going down in some dingy dark alley. But I can't quite picture her in that scene.
- How crazy that Mike Comrie is dating Hillary Duff! I saw that pic of them in Us Weekly today and was like, "Holy shit! Go Mike! The last time I saw him was at Rick's in Ann Arbor. Good for him!"
- Crap. Did I drunk dial Braedyn last night? Shit. Remember to check my call log. He's too young for me anyways. No he's not. I'm just making excuses. But seriously, when did I get "old"? Age was never an issue before. I want to be 25 again ...slash forever.
- I wonder how many people will actually come to my birthday party? I hope everyone gets along. Of course they will. That was a dumb thought. Booze will break the barriers.

Have I washed my hair yet?
(Re)(Re)Wash hair.

- I should have bought that green dress today on the sidewalk rack. Damn it!
- What was the name of the book again for Book Club this month? Shit. I'm never going to finish it on time. Double damn it! I should bail now and not wait till the last minute. Better yet, I shouldda just bought the book and finished it on time and saved myself this predicament. Ugh.
- Did I call Grandma tonight? Oh yes, she was "too busy" to talk. "In the middle of a card game. All the ladies are over for pizza and beer." God I love her!

Ok, enough is enough.
I'm about to faint it's so fuckin hot in here.
Have I used conditioner yet?
No. Hair does not feel silky or smooth.
Use conditioner.

Exit steam room.

End Scene ;)