Hahahaha :)

I put a pair of Googly Googs in Alyssa's shower ...

I just hope she finds it as funny as I do ;)

HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDS!

Serves Me Right ;)

Tonight I met some friends for drinks
at Wilfie & Nell in the West Village
(PS BTW, I highly recommend this spot!)

Everything about this place is done right:
the atmosphere is genuine,
the food rocks,
the beers get ya buzzed ...
What more can ya ask for?

But I must say I was caught off guard
when I went into the bathroom
only to discover an old school medicine cabinet:

And of course,
me being me,
I had to open the aforementioned mirror
to know what was behind the looking glass ;)

And then I had to laugh out loud
when I saw a hand drawn bottle of Viagra
chillin' next to his doodle-buddy, Prozac
with a message that read
FUCK
YOU
FOR
LOOKING
IN
SOMEONE
ELSE'S
MEDICINE
CABINET

Ha!

Awesomeness

Thoughts on Bookshelves

Confession:
So I've been trying to "put myself back out there"
(whatever the hell that means)
in the "dating scene"
(or lack thereof)
here in the Zoo to the York.

(Insert barf noise here)

And I must say,
there’s something totally intriguing to me about a guy’s bookshelf.
Literary choices say so much about a person ...
It’s like legally snooping!

And I will also say,
there’s no greater turn-on then a well-read muchacho...

(Admittedly, I become ecstatic to witness when collections range from
“Dude, Where’s My Country?” to “The Count of Monte Cristo”)

Buuuut,
since I am living in my life,
and not the one I dream of,
that my friends, has yet to happen ;)

And besides, who am I to judge a book by its cover?

My bookshelf looks like an overflowing used car lot,
and my nightstand touts this month’s selections of :
“The Alchemist” (a must read if you haven't already!),
"Barack Obama: The Inaugural Address and Other Speeches"
"Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea"
and Shel Silverstein’s latest, “Runny Babbit”.

If someone were to summarize my existence based on such,
they’d probably say I’m just a soul searching liberal
with an affinity for satire and simple rhymes.

Shoot…
Ok, so maybe you can judge a book by its cover ;)
But we shouldn’t so I won’t!

Aaaand, I digress
per usual

Point of post ...
My thoughts on bookshelves themselves are that:
I HEART THEM BIG TIME !

Here are a few that I aspire to own someday :)

Hahaha

Too Funny :)

Check out TextsFromLastNight.com when you need a good laugh
This is my personal favorite from today:

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...
I don't want to see this

Happy Friday Friends!

Here are some pictures I took this week
of things that made me smile ...
I hope they will do the same for you :)


Graffiti on Avenue A
"The Greatest Depression"


Grocery shopping in Chinatown
P.S. I think one of the crabs actually waved at me ;)


Mini Beers for $5.99
Yesssssss!


A new art exhibit on my street
(and the reflection of the synagogue behind me)


A view of the Brooklyn Bridge while walking the Manhattan Bridge :)


Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Cheers

Thank You, Stephen & Kendra!

To add to my ever-expanding repertoire of oddities,
My brotha and his lady lovah just sent me the BEST gift ever!

Meet my new ...

(waaaaaaaaaaaaait for it)

HAMBURGER PHONE!

Exciiiiiitement!

Now all I need is a land line ;)

Best Advice I've Ever Received ;)

Ever since college I've been really into donating blood.
And since I'm Type O- (which is the universal donor)
I try to make a habit of giving at least once a year.

Long story short, last night I went to a Blood Drive
at a Public School just up the street in the East Village.

I sat down in the first chair where they take your blood pressure,
prick your finger, and basically make sure you're not:
(1) a prostitute (2) a drug lord or (3) under 110 pounds ...
Well since I passed that test with flying colors,
the super nice nurse proceeded to check my iron levels
and to my dismay, I was under by 1 point.
One measly point.
Bust!

So I say to her,
"Bummer. Looks like I need to get myself some iron pills."
And she says to me,
"No giiiiiirl, you just need get yourself a nice juicy steak
and a tall glass of wine and come back in the morning."

Ha!

So I did exactly that
and I'm headed back tonight for "Take Two"

Wish me luck ;)

You Can Dress Me Up but Take Me Nowhere ;)

Little by little,
all of digital evidence from the wknd in Miami is surfacing
and I cannot stop laughing at all the ha!larity
from the bachelorette festivities :)

Last night Rachie called me and said,
"Can you pleeeeease just pull up picture #24 really quick
so we can talk about the orange alien in the background?!"

Exhibit A:

(No, I have no clue what "dance" move that is that I'm doing)

Ya see, what I love about my besties
is that they are literally all able to look past my horrid behavior
to laugh about the little things ...

Ummm,
"little things" like the fact that there was a
gender-suspicious orange extra-terrestrial at the club that night!

(Please feel free to continue to examine the martian in Exhibit B)

(Hmmm, apparently I know how to "break-dance")

Riddle me this ...
Where do these creatures come from?!?!
Did Tarzan lose Jane?
Why isn't he/she carrying a bow-and-arrow?

This little break-dancer remains perplexed ;)
  

Happy Pay Day!!! Yahooooo :)

Not Good. Repeat: No Bueno :(

Between New York City rent
(and all my girls running to the alter)
It's official ...
I'm entirely broke!

Check out all six of the dollars I have in my bank account:

Yep, yep, yep
Count 'em and weep ...
That's what I do ;)

Rachie's Bachlorette Weekend ... Wo!

No words!

Now back to my keg of water to recover from all the above ...

Happy Friday Friends!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

Life in the 1500s ... These Cracked Me Up :)

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water.

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying. It's raining cats and dogs.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Thoughts on Umbrellas

Have I ever told you about my love for umbrellas?
Strange. Yes, I'm aware.
Yet another one of my many quirks ...
That I admittedly love umbrellas.

But what's not to love about them?


They protect you from the rain
(if you so choose to go outside when it's raining)

Oftentimes the wind blows them inside-out
(causing me to laugh hysterically, while getting rained on)

I could list a million reasons!

One of these days I'm going to sport an umbrella
even when it's not raining ...
That's how much I love 'em ;)

Ha!

This Pretty Much Sums Up My Weekend ;)

Why I'm Single: Reason # 1,892,397 ....

On Saturday a guy actually used the pick-up line,
"I'm young, dumb, and full of cum. Whattya say?"

I vomited in my mouth in little bit
and proceeded to hysterically laugh out loud

Welcome to my life ...
Wanna trade?!?!

Rachie's Bridal Shower :)

HAPPY FREE DONUT DAY! Yahoooo :)

Confession:

Although yesterday I really did only have 10 items,

I check out in the Express Lane
even when I know I have more ;)

Tee hee!

Damned if ya Do, Damned if ya Don't ;)

I cracked up today when I saw this submission on PostSecret

Hahahaha

I feel the complete opposite!

Oftentimes I get so excited to tell a story when out with my friends
and about 2.2 seconds into it they're all bored-as-shit like,
"Ya, we know, you already posted that to your blog"

Arrrgh

But then there are other times
when I repeat something from my blog and they're all,
"OMG, why haven't you told us that before now?!?
You know we don't read your blog!"

Double Arrrrgh

I can't win, therefore I drink ;)

Kidding
(kinda)